I’m a nice guy, right? I generally root for people to succeed, even in situations when I’m skeptical of their plans. And a pat on the back – of encouragement, or a job well done – I know that matters. But I’m sorry, I can’t do it any more. The “congrats” tweets. They need to stop. Often, especially after a tech news event, my Twitter feed is filled with these meaningless kudos. Man, I sound like Gabe Rivera, but hear me out. This isn’t about some cold, hard stoicism where we’re all locked in some mortal confrontation and praise equals weakness. No, rather it’s about three simple types of sin – THE FAUXGRATS
The SuckUp Congrats (“@dickc congrats man, you totally nailed the commencement speech”)
Here someone tries to curry favor and attach themselves to a notable figure via public supplicancy. SuckUp pile ons often occur.
The Humblebrag Congrats (“Zuck congrats on 1B users. Man, I remember 07 when we hit 100m #GoodTimes)
The Undeserved Congrats (“Congrats [company which essentially just went out of business] ! Excited for the next adventure!”)
Hey guess what, I showered this morning. Congratulate me?
Let’s embark together on a Congrats 12 Step Program. First, admit you have a problem. If you go back through my Twitter archives I’m probably guilty of all three. But not recently. You see, I now stop myself if the congrats is meant to aggrandize myself alongside the recipient. And then even if it’s pure, I’ll send an email or post to their Facebook wall. Keep it quiet. On the down low.
Congrats, you made it to the end of this post.