It’s tech cliche that Microsoft gets it horribly wrong the first time but by v3, watch out. Well, the Chicago Sun-Times broiled the Zune, their first attempt at a home-grown personal music player. Columnist Andy Ihnatko gets taken off the MSFT holiday card list with this one. Here are some of the best samples but you really need to read the whole article to get Andy’s vitriol:

“Avoid,” is my general message. The Zune is a square wheel, a product that’s so absurd and so obviously immune to success that it evokes something akin to a sense of pity.

You’ll find that the Zune Planet orbits the music industry’s Bizarro World, where users aren’t allowed to do anything that isn’t in the industry’s direct interests.

Throw in the Zune’s tail-wagging relationship with music publishers, and it almost becomes important that you encourage people not to buy one.